Friday, September 09, 2011
how different would our lives be if we had never met
for one sem. all of my friends were your friends. yet i never met you.
for one sem all of your friends were my friends. yet u never met me.
if for that one fateful day u didnt ask to come the party we would have never met.
that one moment i saw u. that one moment that you asked to join us. that one moment we met.
i looked at you, and i wanted to know more about you. at the same time i didnt want to think too far ahead of myself. i played it cool. i tried to anyway. i asked you to sit with me. i insisted. and even though the sofa was empty i asked u to sit next to me.
now i will never know the feeling of another person apart from you sitting next to me. holding my hand. kissing me. i will only know you.
i need you to be my whole life.
love kills slowly 6:58 pm
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
all i can do is just be there. i made her angry. i've no right to mope around. sorry cant cut it.
dont leave before this journey has even begun
love kills slowly 4:37 pm
Sunday, September 04, 2011
prayers
Dear Lord i pray for protection and prayer for this friend of mine. i pray that she will protect her. pray that u will take care of her and take away her troubles. take away her insecurities. i pray that u'll bless her house. and get rid of any evil spirits that may trouble her. i pray that you will hold her and love her. pray that you will comfort her in her time of need. dear lord please be there for her and take away her cares and burdens and that she will be lord. amen
love kills slowly 4:29 pm
Saturday, September 03, 2011
insecurities.
i must stay strong. i dont need to save u i dont need to do anything. i just need to learn to be strong and stay by your side. i hope this works out. i hope that i can make the right decisoins. say the right things. do the right things. i want this to work out. but i keep thinking of all the things that will go wrong. i know in a moment this feelings will past. i know that things will be alright. but right here right now. i cant stop thinking.. i guess it is me who needs to learn to grow up. i need to learn to deal with relationships better. i need to know what i really want and what i really feel deep down. i need to learn to be a stronger man for my future. i need God to have a bigger center in my heart. i need to be more mature. i need more. maybe after all these relationships i havent really learnt anything afterall. i havent learn to grow up. i feel like im still that same immature jealous childish shallow person i always have been. i need to grow up. i want to be more independent. i need to stop relying on people. i need to be stronger in my emotions. i need to stop being an open book. i need to stop being so vulnerable. looking for pity and handouts. i need to be stronger. i need to be stronger not for people but for myself. i need to be a better man for my family. dad do you ever feel like you're not enough? like you arent sufficient enough for us? i feel so insecure. i want to be strong i want to be a head of my household. of my body of my life of my relationships. i need to be a better man. and i want to be that great man for myself my family my future. and for you.
i need to grow up.. more...
love kills slowly 12:14 am
