Barry's space!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

birthday week.. again.

looks like another year. same old same old. didnt celebrate much. just had dinner tts all. wow really been along time since i had a real birthday celebration.. intersting really.. =\

finally applied to uwa.
if i dont go there.. i dont know if i want to go aussie still. D:

sim? its really much cheaper. 1/3 the price. most likely will go.
kept telling my paretns its cheaper but they insisted they checked it cost the same.
oh well. maybe its a sign to not go there.

its going to cost alot. but maybe going there will be good for me.

21 and not much has changed.
time to catch a R21 film.

wheres my birthday BJ
(ben N jerry's)

love kills slowly 4:49 pm

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

still need to heart =\

love kills slowly 11:04 pm

Sunday, August 08, 2010

ohhhh~~~~

love kills slowly 9:18 pm

omg nooo

this post is written with my best bro kuanyu in mind.

today i made a new revelation.

botak jones. that evil franchise that keeps pulling us back cuase we keep thinking it tastes great but it dosent when we go there but end up going again..... cause we cant really remeber and we think its really really great.

is actually like wow...

omg.

WOW as in the freaking life sucking game... world of whorecraft.

first u play and its like awesoem. dun mind sacrficing a bit of cash.

den its like wow this is WOW.

awesome sauce. raid raid raid. daily daily dailies..

and it gets to become a routine..

and noooooo u get sucked into it.. omgwtffnooooooo

so yes its pretty much like botak jones. cause after staying WOW free for 1 year.

we are/ he is being tempted to play and tempting me to play again... wtf noooooo.

so here i am reminding myself NO TO WOW.

love kills slowly 11:18 am

Friday, August 06, 2010

sick

arrgh fever.... severe headaches body aches. chills. killer throat and what nots.......

the camp mo didnt even give me mc.. just tell me sleep in bunk...

fucking 40 plus degrees at night. and 38.1 when i met him..

now better just have a bad sore throat and the headache..

but i getting my shakes... like i'm damn tensed up.

my jaw is damn clenched. i remember going through something like this before.

but that was cause of.. i dunno. but i rmb taking alcohol and being better..

i'm shaking a bit in my hands.. the str like not realy there..

and my teeth are clenching damn tightly.

my arms and hands dun feel right.

and my leg keeps shaking.

shit help

i dun want to drink.

love kills slowly 9:35 pm

Sunday, August 01, 2010

companion cube

send me a friend

somebody who is real

genuine

alive

who can take care of me.

cause i'm tired of being strong.

where is my supergirl

love kills slowly 6:53 pm

point

point there is none.. no purpose.

go to camp for what. the people there are fucked.

there i said it. as much as i have tolerated you. as much as you guys have disliked me.

heres back at you. too bad i'll never be the man who says it..

cause i just take everything in. whoopdidoo..

now you all dont even tell me what time i have to book in.

and yes its my fault for taking leave the last week. cause thats what i really wanted.

and the fucked up duty i get is my own fault for taking leave the last week.

yeah so much for being understanding.

fuck. fuck this shit. fuck all of this.

the worst part of getting over a problem? is not accepting that you have a problem. is accepting and wanting to do something about it. but by doing so you will hurt yourself.

gj SAF so much for permanent records for certain illnesses.

fuck me.

love kills slowly 6:32 pm

supposedly

today i was supposed to be surprised. not exactly suprised. but celebrate.. 100 days to ord.. zz low

love kills slowly 10:33 am

torn

funny how things can just change like that. in just a week. in just a day. in just a moment. i been trying to wrap my head around this. trying to get a grip. trying to see if i can come to terms.

and i thought.. perhaps it was because i was still... could i? could i really be still... no i dont know.. i'm not sure anymore.

i pray for you everyday. for your health. in body and spirit and mind. pray that you'll be able to see clearly. and make the choice for yourself.

i pray that mercy and grace be upon him. that there may be something left in him that can be saved.

i pray for your family. that they have the strength to pull through. no parent or family should have to see a member of their unit go through such... pain.

every morning. every night. every day.

i look for my own purpose. my reason. my meaning.

let me go father.