Barry's space!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

time

time really changes everything. things that used to hurt when seen or hurt. dont hurt so much anymore. words dont mean the same thing. feelings arent the same. happiness or sadness. a mixup of emotions. a cocktail of love hate angst happiness. a delicious and heady drink. and i'm ready for round 2.

love kills slowly 7:53 pm

Friday, June 25, 2010

Goodbye

Janice Vidal - Goodbye

I can see the pain living in your eyes

And I know how hard you try

You deserve to have so much more

I can feel your heart and I sympathize

And I'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life

*I don't want to let you down

I don't want to lead you on

I don't want to hold you back

From where you might belong

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to say but good-bye*

You deserve the chance at the kind of love

I'm not sure I'm worthy of

Losing you is painful to me

Repeat *

You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore

I would rather hurt myself

Than to ever make you cry

There's nothing left to try

Though it's gonna hurt us both

There's no other way than to say good-bye

love kills slowly 6:43 pm

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Bali

cherrio guys going to bali for a family trip. rachel i realise maybe the only ppl who ever come to my blog now may only be you. haha. seeya soon

love kills slowly 11:30 am

Sunday, June 13, 2010

change

well where do i start. lets put it simply i think its time for change. msn nick what not. (thanks Rachel) its time to do stuff do things. live. but the with all changes there will always be somebody trying to knock you down. and somebody trying to pick you right up

first stumbling block.. my smu application has been rejected.. so more or less my chances in Singapore are pretty slim. no matter wat i say or do.. not being to go to a local u is something i feel terrible about. it really sucks. but moving on.. i'll proally need some help to appeal against it.. although its not a course i see myself excelling or enjoying (school of information systems) i still rather take it in Singapore in a local uni rather than overseas.

SIM you say... well imo its not a real choice. i know lots of ppl will think otherwise and wat not. but its my decision and my dad supports it too. so most likely i'm going to go Australia.

its a bittersweet decision.. cause i dun really want to go overseas. but at the same time i know its a land with a whole new playground. so many things to see and do over there. and the opportunities are plentiful. so i do look forward to it.. but dread going.

i suck at doing applications. it was teh case with the first round of uni applications. and it was teh same with the second. so going to Australia is going to be a hard thing to do for me on the admin side. i have a very vague idea of wat i want to study.. but where how and what not i dun really know or care. school a or b. makes no difference to me.. imo its just a school. the only real factors i'll probably look at are the school fees. cause location wise i dun really know... and furthermore the fees are more or less similar -_- so that makes the point moot...

so if you really can/care please help me with some.... i dunno facts? or help with the application..

haha its pathetic but its my sad fact of life.

on the other spectrum of things thanks rachel for egging me on. it means alot to me whether or not i'm vocal or expressive about it.. and i'm there for you too. its a two way thing yeah.

btw cause of the length of not posting. i broke my rib. its the first bone i ever broke. and yeah sometimes i really should post more cause looking back at the archives the other day. i realize how much of my life is here and recorded for me and others to read. not that i'm some narcissist or something but more along the line of letting me or helping me remember my experiences and events that rocked my world.

in my army life i have done things and one of which is my drinking. i have cut down but still it may not be favourable. and in the words of my fav person... an alocolic shit bag. happy birthday.

so yeah maybe drinking should cut down more or not lol. actually what i'm really pissed about my drinking is/are ppl's opinions of it. if you want me to stop or look down on it. please dun rub yourself in my face. its disgusting how you ppl judge. if you think its bad for me tell me nicely butp lease dun judge.. who are you to judge you two faced.

yeah... jacqualine has been my drinking buddy for quite a long while now. and i'm thankful? for her.

God has been something of a hmmm lets put it as past. its pretty hard to deal with. what with my current ungodly environment. yes its not something i should blame my surroundings and how i should be the one beacon of light to guide those around me and what not. but still its a bit depressing at times.

love still hasnt shined on me yet. but i'm hopeful. i'll probably take rachel's advice and not go looking for it.

i think this blog needs more pictures.

and can somebody please help me change my blogskin?