Sunday, June 14, 2009
the worst part of being disappointed is being disappointed by your friends. my free time is so restricted as it is. and yet they waste my time. yet they disappoint me. they dunno how it feels to have a timer to your life. your lifestyle. every moment anything you do. you feel that time is slipping past your fingertips. 1726. you know what tt time tells me. it tells me that i have to book in soon. cause i live so fucking far. its really depressing. friends always expect you to do thigns for them. to be there for them when they need you. but when i need them or when i expect them for certain things they disappoint.
family. the most important thing to me yet i cant seem to show my appreaciation. my love for my parents. they put in the effort for me. but i just yell at them. i apologise. but if i dun shout at them in the first place i wont need to apologise. i love them so. but i disappoint them. a vicious cycle. from me to the ppl around me and back. who can i blame but myself. but how do i be perfect. its neigh impossible. but good God. help me. i have drifted. i am drifting. from your real love. from the world's love. im just falling into anger and frustration. turning to alochol is not the way to go. yet i continue. i need to heal.
love kills slowly 5:25 pm
