Tuesday, January 06, 2009
its a blue monday. and i foresee a blue week ahead. the closer it is to the ninth.. the more... unhappy.. i've becomed. its as if i have a hole, a hole which cannot be filled. not with friends or family. not with games or activities.. its just a void in my heart. i dont feel hurt. i just feel... down. its just a generally dark and cloudy mood. i just feel alone? no i dont think thats it. its a trouble to thing of women. but my mood is not affected by them.. at the moment anyway.. it seems pretty hard to stay cheerful. and the ninth keeps getting closer. and although i'm not afraid of what is to come. i am still wishing it dosent come so quickly.. the only thing that really seems to cheer me up is the wind.. when i walk home at night. at times i just stop to feel the wind against my face, in my hair. it takes away my sorrows and refreshes me. its like an invisible hug. only that it is mostly unconditional. i hope my mood will lighten.
love kills slowly 12:15 am
