Sunday, June 10, 2007
sigh just got back from the cinemas with my parents. caught ocean's 13.
its 20 mins till midnight. and i got you(metaphorically) to accompany me till i wish her
a happy happy birthday. i admit i feel nervous. feel weird. i feel insecure? i dunno wat to feel. sigh.
everyday i think of her more and more..
looks like this holiday acting as a "cool off" period so that i wont see her= get over her isnt working.
i need some other way. so many different ways how i could mess this up. so many outcomes. i think of all the things i did when we went out. haha how she didnt want me to hold on to the rooft handle of the car. sigh. those were the times. i keep thinking of her. i just hope she has a smashing birthday..
i feel different. at ease? i dunno more relax? smooth. i think its the music.. michael buble has a theraputhic effect on the emotions. haha. i feel like holding her. holding her close. swaying with her. dance the night away. sing songs with her. laugh with her. just holding her tightly in my arms. oh love of my life. wont u stay alittle longer. the night is still young. ur kisses linger on my lips. and i yearn for more..
i wish. haha. i'm not exactly fantasing.. its the music lol. but really i just feel like chilling with her. she was good at that. haha. she made me feel at ease. relaxed. and just not give a care. just be utterlly at peace with myself. thats how i felt with her. she was such a lovely girl. she gave me a relationship i never experienced. and i am thankful for that.
sweet perfume. soft silk. sweet drink. great music. oh for the love of a women. relationships. its wine baby. wine for the soul. makes u high. and leaves u empty and yearning for more. haha. just being with u. its like a thousand faries making things work. such a great feeling. such a wonderful time. love. love. love. oh to be loved. oh and to love. sigh. oh to be fawned upon. to be showered with passion. lets spend the night tgt. swaying away under the star dotted sky. with mr moon staring down upon us. the dark night sky. just like ur eyes. darkness so distinct it draws u. mesmerizes and seduces. draws u deep into its dark depths. staring into ur eyes. and to see a twinkle beneath the darkness. oh for that little gem.
i love love love to be happy. to regain all i had, have? just take possesion of them. control my assets. use them to my advantage. only to be rewarded with the lips of love. sigh. i'm intoxicated. lost in emotions. haha. i believe i'm totally incapitated by this feeling called love. though its the yearning of love. and teh reminice of it that i'm being incapitated by. not the actual being in love part. though i gladly would accept. No. no no no. no i cant. but oh for love.
oh i cant sleep. i feel elated. excited. brilliant haha.
happy happy birthday sweetheart.
haha 12o'clock. oh a brand new day a brand new start? i hope this marks the day i move on. ready to accept another into my life. if not i'll just have to keep listening to michale. haha. oh darling be mine. this christmas perhaps? just dont tell me you gave your heart away. pls dont tell me you're giving it to someone special. let me sweep you off your feet. afterall we had a special time. oh what a time.
it was sugary sweet. talking. over a cuppa. making plans for the future. laughing about our silly plans. i must say i havent felt this good in ages. i must thank a few people. felicia, yeah you. deb you too. thanks for caring. i feel like i'm on cloud 9 n 3/4 . if i were a pianist i would be all over the piano. letting my fingers do the dancing to the rhythm of my heart.
To all you lovers, cheers. all you love birds. haha. to love! to relationships! oh to this intoxicating feeling called love. cheers. cheers to you all. to good health & to good music. hmm this feels like christmas. i dont normally feel this good till christmas. haha. hmm christmas sounds like its going to be a blast this year. yesteryear was great. this year will be even better. i can feel it in my spirits.
i dont feel emo. really trust me. this one time. i could use a good love song actually. ha! i love you guys. thanks for being there/here for me. haha. sorta.. haha. i feel like i'm in the mood for a drink. though i dont really drink or dont. just a feeling. like nows the perfect time for some drink. what do you say? aye? haha.
i do think of you guys too you know.. even though i dont type it out.. dosent mean i dont. haha. some stuff makes me think of you guys. haha. just much lesser. i guess. i wanna scream my lungs out. with this new found joy? haha. i really wish i could have this feeling of euphoria? more often. i dont think its euphoria.. for a lack of a more dramatic word.. euphoria it shall be. i feel very much like listening to quiet tunes. lounge music i believe. a piano. a lovely voice. an orchastra if it fits the budget. nothing loud pls. haha.
send me songs? yes pls send me songs. just something that you like. just send to me. love songs? yes pls those too. ahh a dreamy mode. could that be the word i'm searching for? in a dreamy mode? haha. how a silly school girl feels when the guy she fancies says hi to her. haha thats proably the best way to describe it. brilliant. now i'm no better tahn a school girl. haha. if i open my heart to you would you come in? would you open yours for me? i really wish i knew. haha. if i open my heart again to you. would you show me what to do? cause you know that in the end i would be there for you in the end. always. haha.
happy happy birthday again. (: take care love.
love kills slowly 11:42 pm
