Monday, January 08, 2007
I felt like something was wrong.
hey, i guessed I screwed up today right? I think i was being selfish today. Alyssa told me during math class, "hey, i think he feels sad." i said "huh, why?" and she said "i think he really wants to sit with you during math class" She asked me if you're okay. Then something rang in my head. you told me once. "i felt lonely without a girlfriend and its bad enough. its worse to have a girlfriend and having to pretend you didnt have one." I guess that's what you went through today right? I'm sorry to make you pretend you didnt have one. :(
i saw your face today and although ben told me you were pissed because you were bored i think it was because you were hurting inside. You didnt look at me once in math class although we were near each other, i guess you were disappointed. We didnt group together, i guess that's because you were afraid of my friends giving you weird looks. And everything came around because of last night. You walked by my class without looking in. Or maybe you did, but i didnt notice. I just wanna say I'm sorry. I wanted tohtuck life badly, i felt so out of place in this new school. But i think I must learn to get over it, accept the fact that tohtuck and bukitbatok life will never be the same. More so because I have you. We're supposed to enjoy campus life together but it didnt happen this way today. You still held me close when we went through the dark lift, and i felt safe. You did something genius in the GC. Something i could never have done. you wrote "CHERYL I LOVE YOU" on the graph which means you prolly drew ALOT of graphs to make that out. How much anger and frustration i had on you just melted away with that. Everything on your face just spells SAD. I'm sorry.
I love you.
I shouldnt have said so many harsh things.
I shouldnt have vented my anger on you, you didnt deserve it.
i love you.
love kills slowly 7:59 pm
