Thursday, November 16, 2006
A stranger leaves her words.
Barry, this blog is full of hurt, disappointment and despair. It may not be simple to do a complete turnaround now but it's ok. Who said you have to do a complete turnaround?
I'd like to address a few things. Firstly, I DO NOT think i'm a rebound whatever you call it.
Simply because I don't feel it. As long I don't feel it, why should you? I know that everytime you sound emo and say you wanna give me 200%, you really wanna do it but somehow you don't feel confident enough. Let me tell you now. You have given me enough, more than enough actually. I don't ask for alot so there's no reason for you to think you havent given me enough.
You've been thanking me since day 1, but actually I told you you're worth it. You must always remember this.. You're one special person to me. Don't keep thinking that it is only me who plays a bigger part. Do you know I feel blessed in fact I can't believe you're mine. Cos, I have been facing failed crushes so many times it has become a norm. But not you. You lifted my hopes of finding THE ONE.
It has been a crazy ride but i'm enjoying every moment. You should too. Leave your hurt behind, hold on to me and just chill. Don't worry about when it ends. Who cares? I care about now. What we have now will lead to the future. Isn't it? Love paints a rosy picture for us.
However, I cannot rule out the fact that there'll be some unhappiness in it. There will be moments when we both are pissed off at each other. So what? Does it mean the love gets lesser? Love never divides, it only multiplies. So if we get pissed and try to work things out, we become stronger and more stable. As time passes, we'll face many obstacles but instead of fretting now, why don't we treasure what there is now, while there is nothing standing in our way.
Always remember, I liked you for being you. Not anyone else. I remember the first day you told me, "if there's anything about me you don't like, must tell me k?"
ask yourself, if there's anything I don't like about you, I wouldnt be saying all these. I never liked to change people. If i accept you, it means i've accepted your flaws as well. Right?
I've never been flowery in my words saying stuff like WO AI NI all over the place. I never believed in it. Love comes from the heart not the mouth. Saying it to someone makes them feel loved but even if you don't say it to me, I know it. You know why? Because I trust you.
Don't ask me why, I cant answer too. I just go with my gut feeling. I trust you to do your stuff, i trust you to be responsible. I hope that during your time with me, you'll learn to be a better man. A man your wife will be able to rely on, a man that upholds his family but most importantly a man who does things with an open mind and is able to lift his head up high when facing failure.
I'm not saying you MUST do that but you have to try. Let's start from now. There's no deadline for this, it'll follow you throughout your life.
I can't promise you we'll get married but I know for at least now, this isn't infactuation.
Don't be shy when you wanna emo to me. Just say whatever you want. If you're not being emo to me who else can you be emo too?
Tell me your insecurities, I'll reverse them.
Tell me your deepest thoughts, I'll debate with you.
Tell me you can't do certain stuff, I'll match yours.
Tell me where it hurts, I'll love all the hurt away.
Before you love others, love yourself first.
I'm here. I'm here to help you, to spoil you. Not to be a rebound girlfriend.
You're not my boyfriend, you're my soulmate.
Lets move away from the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
We're soulmates.
It isnt important to me whether you asked anot. I'm serious.
It is important to me you throw your insecurities away.
I'm whatever you want. A teacher, a friend, a loved one.
Love me the way you want to, not the way I want to.
i wont tell you how to love, I'll tell you I love you.
With this, I end my thoughts.
`Deer.
love kills slowly 5:02 pm
